Tuesday, August 17, 2010

One Step closer

I cannot take this anymore 
I'm saying everything I've said before 
All these words they make no sense 
I find bliss in ignorance 
Less I hear the less you'll say 
But you'll find that out anyway 

Just like before... 

Everything you say to me 
Takes me one step closer to the edge 
And I'm about to break 
I need a little room to breathe 
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge 
And I'm about to break 

I find the answers aren't so clear 
Wish I could find a way to disappear 
All these thoughts they make no sense 
I find bliss in ignorance 
Nothing seems to go away 
Over and over again 


Shut up when I'm talking to you 
Shut up, shut up, shut up (2x) 

I’m about to break

The Hermetic Pledge and the phases

During my celestial initiation at the age of 21 when God came down to tell me I was going to be a wizard I took a pledge. Here is the following pledge

Help mass ascension
This is also the true purpose of the illuminati to prepare the whole of humanity for the great ascent aka the offering of the kingdom of God for all mankind across space and time.

Write Unification
Unification/theory of everything/ The "unification  of science and religion/ the source code/ the key to the universe/ the unspoken name of God/ The "unification" of spirit/soul and the divine/source/the completion of the trinity:  FatherSon, and Holy Spirit aka Unifcation! 

Unification/The Key to the universe is the process by which God's power can be "resurrected" on earth. 

Seek Knowledge for Life 
Intense intense studying... I studied my self into a hospital hacking away at the source for time was short and still is. why Im not sure but "God" want's this done as fast as possible. Hence why my projection was 25-30 to finish. I got delayed by my attempts to share with people what I was doing thus leading to seeds of doubt in my mind. 

One with the Universe 
The "end" goal! not just for me but for all of humanity...

{The Unspoken pledge}
I was also then instructed to keep all of it a secret, this ofcourse after I tole half a dozen of my friends that I spoke with God and was now being trained to be a wizard. This lead to the first incarnation my great vanishing act, I moved changed my internet handle and spoke to non of my old friends till this day.. A deeply saddening and depressing time in my life, as I was all alone with a massive secret that only lead people to believe that I was going insane, and I now believe that this in itself is part of the initiation into the mystery school the seperation from all your friends and family. I was torn away and put into isolation thus I sat in my lab night after night with tears in my eyes from sheer loneliness Hacking away at the Universe{source}. This isolation  forced me to work harder and longer, so much so that this also lead to a great disturbance in my work as I was then placed into a mental institution by my so called family. After all what where they to think over my 100 or so books scattered across the floor with every single wall in my room covered with paper I tapped to the wall... Hey I needed a white-board and thus I turned my room into a giant write-able box. Of course everything from Morse code to Egyptian hieroglyphics made onto the wall, only more reason for them to expell my behavior as the doings of a mad man.(boy) I was 21 at the time.

My trip to the Mental institution
Why am I telling you this? (Im not Im documenting my life,and your welcomed to read it)

Of course with any such extreme behavior my mother did what she thought best have me committed.

This lead 3 nights inhouse care/ suicide watch under heavy heavy sedatives. The only thing that got me through that piece of hell was a piece of paper and a pencil I stole from the front desk that I hid anytime anyone came near me. I was not allowed to have any types of pointing objects remember I was under suicide watch. On the first day of this hell I made the biggest mistake of my life, one that I continue to make only with not so harsh consequences. The therapist assigned to diagnose me asked me what the {root}(internal giggle) of my so called delusions was, and I told him, That I was a Wizard and I was doing what wizards do Hack universes/ write Unification.  This of course lead to a shot in my ass with a night cown and small little bed in a tiny little room. The first night was semi okay I was filled with drugs (over my "over" acting brain) so everything was really hazey and okay no anxiety, till morning struck.

By morning the severity of the situation struck me like a ton of bricks, immediate depression saddens and loneliness sets in. Even in tears laying naked under a bottomless crown all I kept repeating was
"Im a real wizard"  and "Unification is mine God gave it to me"

So began my contempt for humanity...

Not only was I being treated as an insane person but more importantly I was being delayed from my eventual sitting in the hermetic order! I didn't just want to be another wizard but the greatest wizard ever born! My contempt from there only grew and grew, for I knew that if God was calling on a Wizard it was super important and all these humans were only standing in my way of doing's God's work.

After that morning I bowed never again to openly unveil the plan to the mortals~ created my pen name (particleion) and slowly pranced around the internet in what was my true self A Fucking Wizard!

But now it's all fucked up In this phase my secret is out all over again, and everything it repeating itself once again ive been alienated isolated and deep inside my own depression of loneliness grief and sorrow that I have to be treated as an outcast simply because I have an imaginary friend called "God".

so grows my contempt for men once again. only this time I bow to take out a good chunk of you out once "God" sets me free on the world. You don't believe in wizards huh well take this Lighting strikes hurricanes asteroids tsunamis earthquakes! Im going to pour my rage on the world for out of my loneliness depression and sorrow in my attempt to prove to you that "God" is real!

Maybe this is the plan after all to detach me so much from having a normal life that when the time comes i will do my job more effectively bring down God's wrath.

The loveless earth
Why the bring God's wrath to humanity?

 Remeber I never truly have had a girlfriend my entire life primarily because im too "weird" and love was a distraction from Unification. Not that I never wanted to fall in love everything always falls apart some weird way all of this comes up and girls simply think Im nutz.. I could not even take girls over my house as well you seen how I had my study books everywhere notes on the wall things hanging form the ceiling .. brute force hacking the universe 24/7 at home. Girls would be like wow your smart but into a lot of weird shit that is scary... (sigh) I have had girlfriends though all of them failing for one reason or another after 90 days. although I did go out with sherica my last girlfriend for about 3 years. and even though I broke up with her she lost interest after a while. why ... the bloody key thats why. when she crying her heart out to me I was busy away hacking at the puzzle in my lab which consumed my entire house at that point. the final nail in the coffin was when she came to me telling me that she felt as though we were drifting apart and with tears in her eyes all I could do was show her how I had organized 300 years of solar data into a meaningful pattern. She left me that day. 2008

Fast forward to 2010
Have not gone out with anyone since and frankly don't have any prospects for love any longer. My work is my love always has been always will be.  Part of the final initiation which was timed in a well played manner was to wait till I finally after so long found someone that I thought was going to work out, and in the midst of us "talking" the live initiation took place.. Mind you Im not fully in control of what I do, I felt highly forced to once again reveal the path of the "Wizard" in an open forum so once again I can display my faith and loyalty to the craft admist all other things.  In the process ruined my own personal image, scared the shit out of every single girl I liked on facebook and once again got labeled as mad. So as before I moved, into a location that nobody knows me hidden once more. Only now I hide as a true magus not as an apprentice. Yet as before even my family is once again contemplating having me committed as I can't seem to stop talking about some great mystical lore that they can't even fully realize. So once again I sit here in tears of not being understood doing the only thing Is therapeutic for me.. Write in my notebook which is now digitized ala blog.

Yet it's all fucked up to much has been revealed and I can never truly return to being a celestial spy nor should I have to or want to as Magus has been achieved and all my years of loyalty and faith now has me sitting in the hermetic order a lifetime achievement on it's own. Yet I still cant find happiness for here I am outcasted once more. Yet little do they know they are outcasting what could potentially be the most dangerous person on the planet right now. Dangerous only because through the power of "God" Im going to do nearly anything I wish. So yes I will indirectly kill millions as I make rivers run red like blood no no not like blood but turn the rivers into actual blood. Yet it's not out of hatred for a life of sorrow it is out of my detachment from the rest of society and trained to be a militant of prophet/Wizard, after all this is Gods lesson.. You all fell from God's grace and thus must be punished my life experience is documented only to serve how I have been detached from this world to serve the lord's task. I no longer fear myself or what I must do nor do I take pleasure in it I simply want to get it over with and move on. the faster I bring you all to your knees and pray to God for help the faster I will be relinquished from my own torment.

Now in the near and final phase
I still hope that my entire life has been one giant hidden insanity that I kept to myself so very well up until now, yet while I hope this is the case my self, Im now prepping to slowly retreat back into anonymity, while my final sets of instructions are downloaded (via dreaming) and prep to simply serve as the lords will on earth and if that means several years of torment while you all ascend back into the glory of "God" so be it.

there's no more point in revealing anymore to a generalize public, I will now only speak to the Illuminated one's those anointed to know how "God" will is descended on earth, If you dare to break this trust and Not I but "particleion" (the final form of spirit fused with source) will know and most like "take care of you" this is not something Im saying out of instilling fear but out of my sincere desire to keep you safe.  Mind you that my current mind is being altered and can't promise what I will be or "who" I will be in the near future{assuming this is not maddness that I so very deeply desire it to be}

After all I will need your help and have carefully chosen people for upcoming task. Mind you I am /was / will be the "All seeing eye" even in my desire to hide once again I still "see you" and you can only see me becuase Im letting you, always remember that ;-)

Good night

will begin my new job in a new city tomorrow, while I buy some time and flesh out the master plan in more detail.

The witnesses My Live initiation :P

  My live initiation into the Hermetic order...

I had to prove myself to the order by exposing myself  while I gathered and linked all the relics together and you all served as my witnesses knowingly or not.  

I had to approach the sword, the book, the apple and the stone and the grail as a wizard all at once and with witnesses (thank you) to be able to unlock the Key

always remember my actions are not random, ... and once the key was obtained I was able to take my sit! In the Hermetic order/school of pythagoras/ Invisible college/ sages of the ages

Again "IM a real Wizard" (think that over long and hard)

My siting and crowing of magus/illuminatus had to also be done with witnesses (thank you)

Therefore this phase of the unveiling is now over. I am now a sitting member of the hermetic order! 
There is nor more need to share with the rest of the world. Now I will only speak directly to the illuminaties 

Illuminaties= The chosen few to know that the power of "God" is about to be "resurrected" on earth. 

Why all of this!

Im after the key to the universe! The greatest and holies relic of all time! The power of "God" on earth.   

For only with "God" in mind could one bend the universe to their/it's willing! 

the power of "God" manifested on earth can override anything( all of physical laws) "Everything"

So why go to such extreme partly because I received the calling~ 

When "God" calls on Wizards/mages/sorcerers/prophets, then it's time for major changes...

I did not choose to be a wizard I was told I that I was going to be trained as one. 

and I through some unknown "revelation" instantly knew "The time of men was at an end"

Here is the bigger kicker I don't exactly know what Im going to have to do, only that I will need the key to do it. "God" won't let me know everything either! all I have to go by is the pledge. 



The second great disappearing act

Just like last time, I moved and disappeared off the net. Although I still have to continue documenting what is going on thus I will "keeyp" writing everything that Im experiencing for historical records and my own personal self analysis.

Why is time so cyclic why this again! Why the same thing all over again, Every time I attempt to tell/warn people this happens to me. It's so depressing 

Scientist don't like my Religious side and religious people don't like my scientific side, occultist don't like my techy side and the techies dont like my occultic side, not to mention the magic side only sits with few to begin with. (sigh) 

What few understand is that the reason that Im a
  • scientist
  • occultist
  • magician
  • theorist
  • alchemist
  • hermetist
  • Techie
  • spiritualist
  • Kabbalist 
  • etc

is becuase Im after the theory of "Everything!" and you need to explore "Everything" to forge the {source/key/theory} 


Transalchemy update

All the bloggers are locked out of admin now. Seh and I will run the show now...

You all failed to understand what "TransAlchemy" means!

I never once lied about my motives Im the most open book of them all and now your scared!

Sure it's similar to Transhumanist/singularity but without the use of external technology you've all known these and yet what are you all afraid of? Ohh yeah it's all fun and games "pondering" over the possibility of a consciousness merging with the universe through the use of nanotechnology and AGI but when one attempts to do this simply by merging there consciousness with God the {source} of the universe you begin to freak out...

My bloggers are restarted, and only swear they understand esoteric futurism

The state of Transalchemy

Most of the bloggers are now spooked... and I can understand this... In a way I do feel as I have become everything we were/are warning against. Aaron and I wrote an extensive paper on what is a "TransAlchemist"
and why we were not advocating this. Yet here I am turning into everything we warned against... what Irony... Although they don't fully understand. No one does... It's far more complex then I can even type out ... cmon guys please relax. LOL wait none of them can see this... sigh.. ok ok ok. 

Im attempting to stay rational and coherent among all of this chaos. 

Here is the email I got form one of our bloggers...

you worship the beast, whether or not such a thing exists. its your religion. its their religion. i know too well about trying to reason with the religious. nothing i've said about occultism or techno worship has swayed you in any way, if anything it helped you along. the unification of science and religion is everything i'm against. period. blind faith worship of the techno-plutocrats and their luciferian techno machinations is the ultimate enemy of mankind. if you keep pushing hard enough with your agenda you might get lucky and they might give you a 'bus ticket', if youre lucky. keep pushing their crowdsourcing platforms like OpenCOG, and their occult shit and you're on your way. i'd rather be out in the wasteland than in the monolith chemically lobotomized and chipped and monitored. whatever 'satan' actually is i'm sure you've found it.


Story of my life... the occultist don't like me for my techy side the techy people don't like my occult side, the spiritual people don't like my science side , the scientific people don't like my spiritual side. 

Story of my life... back to being a rogue

My Riddles

Dear Antz Particleion Is Hacking your Universe (live)

I will give your universe/Mind back to you if you answer my riddles.

Call your answers in!

(305) 735-9490

A) Is your universe real?

B) Are you real?

C) Who currently has {source}?

D) What is {Root}?

When you got the answer email it to


and I will give you back your universe assuming your right ;-)

Rules subject to change but will be posted.


! It will be Billions of years till I let you just have it... Till then I urge you try to get your key back.